What to Say to Yourself When the Desire to Lose Weight is Strong
Do you ever feel like your actual values and your weight loss values are misaligned?
Maybe you’ve been on the anti-diet, Intuitive Eating journey (or at least this side of the internet) for a while and there’s one part of your brain that can logically say things like:
“I don’t need to lose weight to be happy.”
“All bodies are worthy.”
“The diet and wellness industries are just trying to sell me something.”
…But then there’s the other side.
The one that still yearns for weight loss whether that’s because:
you’ve been taught it’s necessary for health reasons
it would make it easier to buy clothes
Or it seems like everyone around you is shrinking.
Here’s the thing. You don’t have to be all-in or all-out. Pursuing intentional weight loss OR totally satisfied with your body. And your desire to lose weight makes a ton of sense! All of those things you’re telling yourself are reasonable and can be painful.
You are not failing yourself or the anti-diet movement.
Here are three reminders for the days when you’re struggling with body image and you’re being hard on yourself for wanting to lose weight:
“It’s not my fault that the world is not made for larger bodies.”
As Virginia Sole-Smith puts it:
“Pursuing thinness is the logical survival strategy we are all conditioned to employ in a fatphobic world.”
It sucks that the world is not built for larger bodies. It sucks that body size can directly impact the quality of medical care you receive. It sucks that weight stigma makes its way into professional, political, and personal spheres. Feeling grief about those things is normal and valid.
2. “I am being subjected to a golden era of weight loss messaging.”
Of course, there are the weight loss injections. They’re everywhere. In your office, in discussions in the grocery store line (anyone else feeling like they’re constantly overhearing conversations about GLP-1’s recently??) and it seems like at least every other ad we encounter is trying to sell us weight loss.
But have you noticed diets creeping back into your feeds as well? The creators who aren’t pounding protein have moved on to fiber (Yes, both are part of a healthy diet, but obsession isn’t!). And one influencer being banned from Tiktok did little to diminish the power of #skinnytok and its downright terrifying mottos like “Not Disordered. Just Disciplined.”
Shrinking is trendy, and influencers are engaging in “unapologetic weight loss” again.
3. “When celebrities and body positive influencers lose weight, it can feel like I’m losing community.”
We are not here to judge what anyone else chooses to do with their body, or the way that bodies fluctuate for a variety of reasons.
But it makes sense that you’d feel some grief when the people you trusted to not model weight loss publicize their decision to intentionally lose weight. Regardless of their reasons, what your brain sees is a person who helped you believe it was possible to be happy and successful in a larger body suddenly getting smaller.
You’re not alone.
You are not the only who isn’t losing weight. You are also not the only one who still holds a desire to lose weight. We get it, and we’re here for you!
If you need some support navigating food and body image during these wild times, let’s talk! You can schedule a free discovery call to chat with a member of our weight inclusive dietitian team.
